Feeling Behind? Let’s Talk

Are you feeling a little bit…..BEHIND?

You thought your business would grow quickly but not that you’re in it, you feel like you are falling behind!

Falling behind compared to what? Who are you falling behind? Who is making the timeline you are falling behind on?

“I’m behind” is a phrase that I hear over and over and over again from Health Coaches (3 times this week and counting).

And I get it – BUT – if you are feeling behind than I have to ask you, “Who are you comparing yourself to?”

Let’s dive into this on today’s episode of the Wealthy Coach Podcast!

In this episode we discuss:

• Why comparing yourself to others is making you feel behind
• How hiring a mentor can help build your business quicker
• Stop making unrealistic expectations and timelines

Part of building your business is knowing who your clients are! If you’re stuck on who your niche is, you need to get my Define Your Money-Making Niche Workbook. Get it here: https://go.kendraperry.net/niche-workbook

Connect with me on Instagram: @kendraperryinc

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Feeling Behind? Let’s Talk

The inspiration for this episode came from several people in my audience and several students of mine as well. This is something that is a common theme. Something that I hear all the time, things like, “I feel like I’m behind. I feel like everyone is ahead of me. When I look at my colleagues, they are so far ahead of me. I’m falling behind.” I’ve heard this inside my mastermind, Health Coach Accelerator, private clients, and from all kinds of coaches in my audience. This is common. I find it interesting that I hear it so much. Clearly, there’s a chronic feeling of, “I’m not far enough ahead and I am behind.” I want you to think about it.

Have you said this? Have you thought this? Sit down and sit with this for a bit. Is this something you have said or something you have thought? I truly do believe this is a mindset block. I have three questions for you in response to you feeling behind and feeling like you’re not far enough ahead. The first question is, behind compared to what? The second question is, who determines the timeline? The third question is, are you planning on doing this AKA growing your business for the long-term? Those are my three questions. I want to break down all of these questions.

Let’s start with my first question. Behind compared to what or, I should add in, compared to whom? When I hear someone say, “I’m behind,” I know that they are comparing themselves to someone, something, some idea, or some perception of where they think they should be. I want to know, who are you behind? What are you behind? In business, we’re the boss and we’re in charge. We’re on this if you’re a solopreneur. For the most part, we are, especially in our first couple of years in business. We are the only person on our journey. If we were the only person on our journey, then we wouldn’t be saying that, because imagine you were the only person on the path, would you say, “I’m behind?” No, because there’s no one in front of you and there’s someone behind you. You’re there by yourself on the path.

We must have put someone else on the path with us and perceive them as being ahead of ourselves or somewhere in the distance in order for us to perceive ourselves as behind. I find that interesting because I see a lot of coaches saying this and they are solopreneurs. They’re running their own business and they’re the boss. Compared to what and compared to whom, who are you comparing yourself to? The truth is the entrepreneurial journey is a unique, individual, and personal journey. It is our own journey. Obviously, if you are in business with someone, there might be someone on the path with you but you were still individuals and you were still on your own path.

That is true in business and also life. You’re on this business journey alone. I don’t need that in a sad way or bad way. It’s a truthful way. We’re running our own business, so we are paving our path. That’s the reason why we decided to run a business because we wanted to become our boss. That means that we are setting our expectations. The truth is, in business, we all go at our own pace. Some people move quicker than others. Some people move slower than others. It’s not good or bad. It just is. You don’t want to be comparing your day 100 to someone’s day 1,000. I had an audience member say to me, she was like, “I love all your pictures on Instagram. They’re so great. I wanted to get pictures like those. I took my smartphone out. I didn’t have the right lighting. I didn’t have the right clothes. I didn’t feel as good.” I get that, but something to keep in mind is I work with the same photographer every time I do a photoshoot.

Dana Morrison, I showed up to her. If you’re in the Kootenays and you want a photoshoot, she’s amazing. I’ve shot with her so many times. Every photoshoot I have done has been with her. We’ve shot together for several years now. We have it dialed because she knows how to shoot me. She knows what I’m looking for. I feel comfortable with her. I’ve done a lot of photoshoots. I feel comfortable in photo shoots. She deals with the lighting and the editing. For someone who’s never done a photoshoot before and is using a smartphone to do their own solo photoshoot, it’s not productive to be comparing that to me, because photoshoots are something, at this point, I’ve perfected. I’m quite good at photoshoots, which is funny. It’s not something I ever thought I would say because in the beginning, I felt uncomfortable. I don’t love getting my photo taken, but I’m good at it. That’s the problem when you’re comparing your day 100 to someone’s day 1,000. That comparison game will make you feel like you’re behind because you’re looking at someone who is technically in front of you, but you can’t compare them to you because they are several more years in business than you, or potentially, they put more time in.

We all have different amounts of time that we can dedicate to our business based on our current circumstances, lifestyles, lives that we live, and responsibilities. We could both be two years into our business, but the other person has committed more time because they’ve had more time. The comparison game is a slippery slope. In the end, it always makes us feel less than and it always makes us feel we’re behind, but we’re not competing with anyone. I know that might seem counterintuitive because you’re like, “I’m in business, there’s competition, and I need to do better than the competition.” Fine, but we’re all on our individual path and new businessowner shouldn’t be comparing themselves to a more seasoned business owner.

When you say, “I’m behind,” I’m like, “Compared to what? Compared to whom? Why are you comparing yourself?” It truly is an individual journey. If you want it and if you’re committed to making it work and succeeding, then you can get there. The next question I want to ask you is who determines the timeline? Who makes those decisions? You do. You’re the boss. You’re in charge. If there’s a timeline that you consistently perceive yourself is not meeting, then stop giving yourself unrealistic deadlines and expectations. Expectations are a tricky thing. I find our expectations can lead to a lot of disappointment.

Not only our expectations in ourselves but our expectations in others. I want to dig into this with you. What are your expectations with your business? How quickly are you expecting this to happen? The truth is building a business takes time. You have to want it. It takes a lot of dedication and a lot of grit. You got to clench your teeth and move forward. Sometimes, it’s hard. Building a business requires failing a lot and getting rejected a lot. In the beginning, not seeing a lot of return on investment because you’re building up the foundation and that can take time.

99.9% of people don’t take off in business. You hear a story like that here and there, but that is the exception. It’s not the rule. People, for the most part, are not achieving overnight success. I didn’t. They succeed through lots of time, patience, consistent action, waking up every single day, and moving forward, even if it’s in this small way. If you hear yourself say, “I feel like I’m behind,” ask yourself who determines the timeline. Ultimately, the answer is going to be me. You’ve put some timeline on yourself. The question is, is it realistic? Sometimes, I see people and they’re like, “I need to be profitable in six months, otherwise, I’m going to have to go back to my job. That’s the only amount of time I allotted myself.” That’s a lot of pressure because not a lot of people are building a super successful business in six months.

It can happen, but if you do have a timeline like that on your business, you’re like, “I’m taking six months off of my job. I have six months’ leave. I get to a point in six months where I cannot go back to my job because if I don’t go back, I’m going to lose this position.” If you’re in that situation, you’ve got to hire a mentor. If you try to figure it out on your own in six months, you will not figure it out on your own unless you have some marketing background. I’m going to plug myself. Someone like me, inside my program, Health Coach Accelerator, will help you get there quicker. It’s going to cut through the noise, tell you what’s important and what’s not, and prevent you from trying to figure it out on your own. That is what I did for the first two and a half years of my business. I DYI-ed it and that was fine. I figured it out. I was dedicated to doing so, but I could have cut that time in probably less than half had I hired a mentor.

When it comes to timelines and the timeline you’re putting on yourself, think of other types of business. Do you think a restaurant opens up and it’s profitable in the first year? Not usually. Many restaurants are happy to be breaking even in the first year because of all the money they had to lay down to invest in order to build the restaurant like installing all the kitchen stuff and hiring the staff. Think of a retail store, it’s the same thing. A lot of brand new businesses are happy to be breaking even in the 6 to 12 months. I don’t know what it is about an online business where we think it’s going to happen quicker. A business takes time and dedication. If it didn’t, everyone would have a business, they don’t, and that is why. Take unrealistic deadlines and expectations off of yourself because I find a lot of people feel like they’re behind but they don’t even have a deadline or expectation. It’s something internally where they feel they should be further along.

The third question I want to ask you is, are you planning to do this for the long-term? If you’re not, entrepreneurship isn’t for you. I’m going to be honest and frank. Entrepreneurs are forever entrepreneurs. They’re in it for the long haul. They don’t put one foot in the bathtub and one foot out. I’m not trying to be mean or harsh, but if you want to have a business, you have to be all-in on your business even if you’re only doing your business part-time while you work a part-time job. That’s fine. When you’re working on your business, you were all-in on your business. If you cannot be all-in on your business, that it’s okay, but entrepreneurship might not be for you.

It isn’t for everyone. It’s hard as fuck. There is no shame in realizing that, “This isn’t for me. I will do a lot better in a job.” That’s cool. There’s nothing wrong with that. It doesn’t make you a failure. It just means you tried something and it wasn’t for you. You have to be all-in. The truth is if you’re like, “I am all-in. I’m in this for the long haul.” Aren’t you exactly where you are supposed to be? Couldn’t it be that right now, in this moment, where you are in your business? It’s exactly where you should be. If you’re in this for the long-term, you have many years ahead of you, depending on your age.

I know a lot of people in this audience are in their 30s and 40s, so you potentially have 20 to 30 years. That’s a long time. Think of what you can do in 30 years. If you’re my age, I’m going to do this until 60 or 65 because I love it. Let’s say I got another 25 years. I’m in year 6 of 25 years. I have nineteen years left. That’s a lot of time. You got to think about it. If you’re in it for the long haul, this is what you’re going to do and you’re determined to figure it out no matter what then you’re exactly where you need to be. We put so much pressure on ourselves to be somewhere else. I do it too.

Sometimes, I compare myself. An entrepreneur that I love and follow is Rick Mulready. We’re in the same year in business, yet he has a multimillion-dollar business. I’m like, “Why don’t I have a million-dollar business? We’re in the same year.” The truth is we’ve done things differently. Rick has done a good job on paid traffic. I’ve done an okay job on paid traffic but paid traffic has helped him build his business. I can sit here and have regret and like, “I should’ve pumped more money into Facebook Ads, but I didn’t.” That’s okay. That’s part of my journey because I am committing more to paid advertisement at this point in my journey.

It doesn’t matter that I didn’t do it and that I could have been somewhere else. What matters is, right now, I’m moving forward. You got to take the pressure off yourself. If you get profitable in your business, you got to hire a mentor if there is some legitimate timeline for you getting profitable. Otherwise, you’re not going to figure it out. You have to be committed during that six months to working your fucking ass off and taking a lot of fucking action. It took me to become profitable in my business for probably two years. I was DIYing it. I was doing it all myself. I didn’t have a coach, and it was hard. You can do it the way that I did it, but you can hire a mentor and speed along that process. Business is hard, especially in the first few years. At this point in my business and your six, I don’t feel like it’s hard.

There are hard moments. Sometimes, I have to make hard decisions, have uncomfortable conversations, and deal with problems that I don’t want to deal with, but I don’t find it hard because I’ve got my flow. I figured it out. I know what I’m doing. I’m laser-focused on my mission. For you, who’s a new coach, it is going to feel hard. There are going to be a lot of ups and downs. There’s going to be a lot to do. That overwhelm is normal. If you’re feeling overwhelmed that you need to be further ahead, first, take the pressure off yourself except that you’re in this for the long haul, you’re committed, and you’re at the beginning of your journey, remind yourself that you are the one determining the timeline. You need to check if you are putting unrealistic deadlines and expectations on yourself.

Number three, you have to ask yourself like, “Who am I comparing myself to? Who am I putting myself behind?” We’re all on our own paths, all alone, all by ourselves. If there’s no one ahead of us or in front of us, then we are exactly where we should be. Simplify what you were doing in business. Focus on the things that matter and the things that matter in your business are client acquisition AKA finding new clients. Client experience, focusing on improving the experience for the clients you do have and systems. Making your business more systematic, more automated, and finding ways to give yourself more time. A great way to figure this out is to hire a mentor or a coach. Someone who can help you. This is going to save you a lot of pain and suffering.

They will help you figure out what you should be working on in your business. I love you. I hope this episode was super helpful. I hope you will be more aware of when you say, “I am behind. I’m not far enough ahead.” I hope you will have some awareness around that, coach yourself through it, and realize that you are exactly where you should be. Thank you so much for reading. If you have any questions about this episode, if you want to jam out, I love connecting with you on Instagram so you can shoot me a direct message. My handle is @KendraPerryInc. I love hearing from you. Share it to your Instagram stories and tag me so I can give you a personal shoutout and give you a personal thank you. Have a great day.

Important Links:

• Health Coach Accelerator
• Dana Morrison
• Rick Mulready
• @KendraPerryInc – Instagram