Most coaches avoid DMs because they’re afraid of coming across as pushy, desperate, or sleazy. But according to Kendra, that fear is often based on a misunderstanding of what ethical DM marketing actually looks like.
In this episode, she breaks down why conversations are still one of the fastest ways to generate clients, especially when you’re in the early stages of building your business. She explains the difference between cold outreach and relationship-based outreach, how to start conversations without feeling awkward, and why detaching from the outcome completely changes the energy of your sales process.
Kendra also shares the exact DM strategy she uses with new followers, how to turn conversations into market research, and a simple boosted-post approach that can help you generate more qualified leads. If you’ve been waiting for clients to magically appear from your content, this episode is the reality check (and practical game plan) you probably need.
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Listen to the podcast here
Listen on your preferred podcast platform:
In This Episode:
- The one thing that decides whether a DM feels gross or feels good (hint: it has almost nothing to do with the actual message)
- Why “fast clients” and “hands-off business” can never exist at the same time, and which one you’re accidentally sabotaging
- The exact question I send every new follower that gets replies without feeling salesy
- The 2026 algorithm shift that makes DMs worth 3 to 5x more than likes 👀
- The boosted post strategy that brings you clients even if your following is tiny right now
Leave the podcast a 5-star review: https://ratethispodcast.com/wealthy
DM Marketing for Health Coaches: How to Get Clients Without Feeling Sleazy
Let me guess. You’ve decided that sliding into the DMs will make you come off slimy, sleazy, and desperate. So you don’t do it. You post your content, you wait, and you hope the clients just appear.
I get it. That fear is rooted in truth, because a lot of people do DMs badly. We all get those messages on a regular basis where you can just tell the person isn’t genuine. They open with “Oh, tell me about this,” and you know within two seconds they’re just trying to squeeze a sale out of you. There’s no relationship. They don’t know you, you don’t know them, and honestly, you don’t want to talk to them. Fair.
But here’s what’s happened. We’ve taken “some people are really gross in the DMs” and turned it into “therefore I refuse to talk to anyone.” And that decision is quietly killing your sales.
In this post, I’m going to break down why DM marketing is one of the fastest ways for health coaches to get clients, why it doesn’t have to feel gross, and exactly how to approach conversations so they feel good for you and for the person on the other end. This is not about cold DMing strangers. I’m not asking you to be desperate. I’m asking you to have conversations with people who are already in your world.
Why Sales Has Always Been About Conversations
Sales is really important. A business that doesn’t have sales is not a business, it’s a hobby. And sales is hard these days. It feels hard. But here’s the one thing I know for sure: sales has always been about relationships and conversations. Always.
The idea that you can build a completely hands-off business you walk away from while people just buy, buy, buy? It’s not a total lie, but it requires a level of “everything is excellent” that early-stage people simply don’t have.
Here’s what I mean. The more hands-off your sales process is, the higher the volume of people you need in your world. You need to be a master of messaging, copywriting, and strategy. That’s something that takes years to develop, and depending on what you’re selling, it may never fully develop.
And you’re not selling a $12 phone case. You’re selling health and wellness. You’re a health coach, a practitioner. You’re selling something highly sensitive, deeply personal, and there needs to be some humanness in it.
The more you pull yourself out of the sales process, the better you have to be at everything: traffic acquisition, lead acquisition, messaging, copywriting, strategy. Those are skills we typically don’t have in the first three to five years of business, because they take time to build. Until you become a master of all of those things, conversations are the thing that will get you sales.
The Two Non-Negotiables When Choosing a Niche
When you pick a niche, two things have to be locked in.
First, the problem. And it has to be one problem. Not multiple. I know what you do helps with all kinds of things, and yes, all of that gets addressed inside your program, that’s your chance to go deep, that’s the actual work you do with clients. But marketing has to be kept simple as fuck. Stupidly, crazily simple. One problem.
Second, the identity. Chronic fatigue is the problem, great, but who has it? A woman in her 40s could be a mom of a toddler, postpartum, a new mom, happily childfree living her best single life, or a divorced empty nester with grown kids. You have to decide, especially in high-competition spaces like chronic fatigue. Identity matters less in rare, low-competition niches, if you’re going after something genuinely uncommon, you don’t need to over-niche. But 90 to 95% of my clients are in high-competition niches, because most of us niche into problems we’ve personally had and solved, and statistically those are problems lots of other people have too. Fatigue, weight loss, anxiety. So you have to define the identity.
Commit. Even When It Feels Terrifying.
Sometimes people nail the niche but the messaging doesn’t align, because they’re scared to commit. It feels uncomfortable. “I don’t want to exclude people.” But good marketing is always about exclusion.
I struggle with this too. Just a month ago I was working with Andrea, a sales and webinar expert I’ve had on the podcast, on an evergreen webinar. And I kept going, “Well, sometimes the person I help is this… but sometimes they’re that… sometimes an unlicensed health coach, but sometimes a professional…” And she stopped me and said I needed to commit, because otherwise I was talking out of both sides of my mouth like a politician. Or, but, and, or, and. It just makes things confusing.
The second she said it I felt stupid, because I know this. I’m the niche bitch, this is literally what I do all day, and I still got stuck in it. So I get it. But I finally committed. And here’s the truth: the people I was afraid to exclude still come to me anyway, and I can still help them. But I went all in on unlicensed health coaches and practitioners who’ve been in business, who are out there working with clients, but whose sales aren’t coming in like they should. I stopped talking to the brick-and-mortar and professional folks. And there will always be people on the periphery, outside your niche, who come to you anyway. That’s fine.
The more specific you get, the more successful you will be. I will die on that hill. So audit your funnel, whatever it looks like, ads to a lead magnet to a nurture sequence to a pitch, or just your social media bio to your content to your DMs, and make sure it’s consistent the whole way through.
The Fantasy That’s Blocking Your Sales
Let me name the thing, because I’ve fallen for it too. There’s this sexy messaging all over the internet selling us a business model that doesn’t require us to talk to anyone. “Just put my automated, recorded thing out there and people buy. Then they buy my next thing, where I still don’t talk to them, and somehow they get results, and my business just makes me a ton of money.”
Even if that’s not exactly what you want, I think we’re all playing out some version of that fantasy. We post the content and we wait for clients to appear. And that waiting is the fantasy that’s blocking your sales.
Now, all business models are possible. But let me be clear about something: passive income doesn’t exist in the online space, not in our world. It’s a fancy word. What people actually mean when they say “passive” is “automated.” And automated is not passive. It takes tons of work to set up. You have to manage it. It breaks. You have to rework it. It’s really just “choose your work.”
Fast or Hands-Off: You Have to Pick One
Here’s the tension I see in so many coaches. I teach my students to run paid ads, get people into a funnel, build their email list, and sell from there. My goal is that you click send on an email and it generates sales calls or webinar registrants. Email marketing is a huge part of how I’ve grown my business and a big part of what I teach.
But that is not a get-rich-quick scheme. That business model takes time, because there’s a certain level of numbers involved. You can’t put 100 or 200 people on your email list and expect it to convert. You need thousands. That takes time to build, to nurture, to warm people up, and to develop the skills that make it work.
Meanwhile, a lot of people I talk to are in the “I just need some clients now” place. And that’s fine. There’s nothing wrong with wanting fast clients. But in the same breath, those same people push back hard against having conversations.
So I have to ask: what do you actually want? If you want fast clients, that will always come from real human interaction and conversations. And if you’re not willing to have conversations, it’s going to take you longer. Pick one. You cannot have fast and hands-off at the same time, especially if you don’t yet have the warm leads and the audience to pull it off.
The Reality of the Market: Buyers Are Skeptical
Let’s talk about the world we’re actually selling in. Buyers are skeptical. People don’t trust much of anything anymore. They don’t trust the government, they don’t trust the media, they don’t trust online offers. Most people want to talk to a human before they hand over their money.
And who can blame them? Think about what we’re actually asking people to do. We get angry that someone wants to speak with a real human before they buy, but that’s the most natural instinct in the world. People buy from humans.
Posting into the void and hoping is fighting that instinct instead of using it. If you want early clients and fast clients, that happens in conversations. And since we’re talking about online business, the DMs are where those conversations go down. Sure, you might want to get people onto a sales call eventually. But how do you get them onto the call in the first place? The DMs.
What Makes a DM Feel Gross vs. Good
So what’s the actual difference between a DM that feels gross and one that feels good? Here’s the part most people miss: a lot of it has nothing to do with the DM itself. It’s the energy you bring to it.
It’s the Energy, Not the Message
DMs feel sleazy when you walk in attached to the outcome. Honestly, all sales feel sleazy when you’re attached to the outcome. The neediness of the sale, the desperation, leading with the pitch, feeling like you have to push someone over the line.
If you’re doing sales right, if you’re doing it ethically, it is never about convincing anyone or forcing anyone. We’re not forcing people. We’re guiding their decision-making process and helping them come to a decision, whether that decision is working with you or not.
When you walk into a DM conversation carrying desperation and need, people feel that energy and it repels them. They might not even know why they feel repelled. They just do.
Ethical DMs feel completely different. They’re laid back, fun, curious, helpful, and supportive. You’re just out there serving your people, helping them, and seeing if anyone needs further support. You ask questions. You read the cues. And when someone doesn’t respond, you let it go.
Detachment Is the Whole Game
Here’s the real secret to DMs that feel good: detachment. And I don’t just mean detachment from the outcome. I mean detachment from the conversation itself.
Most people are not going to respond, and it means nothing. It doesn’t mean you’re bad at this. It doesn’t mean you suck. It doesn’t mean your message was wrong. It usually means they’re not ready, not in the right headspace, busy, or distracted. That’s fine. Not every conversation is meant to be a sale. It never was.
We make everything about us. I do it too. “Oh, they ghosted me. They must think I’m stupid. I must have come on too strong.” But we all ghost messages, myself included. Sometimes it’s not that I dislike the person reaching out. I just don’t feel like having a DM conversation right now, or I already know their offer isn’t for me, so I let it go. It has nothing to do with them.
Most Conversations Are Actually Market Research
Here’s the reframe that changes everything: a lot of your conversations aren’t sales, they’re market research. And that is a good thing.
If you want great messaging, if you want to move toward that more automated business model, do you know what gets you there? Great messaging. And do you know where great messaging comes from? Conversations. Real humans. Figuring out the exact language your people actually use to describe their problems.
I was talking with a student recently who made a post in a group that got a lot of traction. I asked if she DMed the people who responded. She said, “It’s too early, it’s too soon, that’ll put them off.” I asked how she knew that. She admitted she didn’t. She just assumed it would feel sleazy. So I asked her what was sleazy about saying, “Hey, I really appreciate you commenting on my post. I’m just wondering, was my response helpful?” She agreed. Nothing sleazy about it. It’s literally just being helpful.
That’s the whole thing. Someone came into your world. They followed you, commented, liked something. Let me see if I can help them. Let me see if I can learn from them. That’s where it stops feeling sleazy.
The Exact Scripts and Strategy I Use
Let me get practical, because you probably already have what you need to start today.
If You Already Have a Following
A lot of you already have a following. Maybe it’s not huge, but you have 300 people. If you have 300 people, you can message every single one of them. Maybe not in a day, but over time. Something as simple as:
- “Hey, I’m working on some content and I want to make sure it’s actually relevant to you. Just curious, what’s your biggest challenge with X right now?” Not a pitch. Just genuine curiosity.
Here’s the exact approach I use with every new follower. If you follow me on Instagram, you’ve gotten this from me. I reach out manually and say something like: “Hey, noticed you followed me and wanted to introduce myself like a human. I’m Kendra Perry, business coach and HTMA expert. Curious, how’d you come across my profile?”
Notice what I’m leading with. It’s not a pile of questions. It’s not personal or hard to answer. It’s a non-threatening, easy question. Some people say “no idea,” and I say “great, no worries.” I take that as “I’m not ready to engage,” and that’s fine. I’m rich, I’m chill.
But I learn a ton. Sometimes people say, “I found you through so-and-so,” and if I notice a wave of followers coming from one person, I reach out to that person, because maybe there’s a collaboration opportunity. It’s market research too.
From there, I’ll ask something like, “Curious, where are you at in your business-building journey? How long have you been running your business online?” I’m figuring out who’s in my audience. And I always end every response with a question to keep the conversation going, while staying aware of cues. When someone’s shutting the conversation down, I don’t take it personally. I think of it like small talk at a party.
The DMs Also Feed the Algorithm
Here’s a bonus that most coaches don’t realize. DMs aren’t just good for sales, Instagram literally rewards them. As of 2026, sends through the DMs are one of the strongest ranking signals, weighted three to five times higher than likes for reaching new people. So conversations in the DMs build relationships and feed the algorithm at the same time.
Inviting Someone to a Call
At some point in a conversation, you might notice someone is genuinely interested and seems like the right person. That’s when you can simply invite them to a call: “Hey, I have some more thoughts for you. Would you be open to jumping on a call and seeing how I can help you?” They might ghost you. They might say yes. But if you do this consistently, it’s the best way to make sales.
You can literally ask the same questions you’d ask on a sales call, right there in the DMs: “How long have you been trying to solve this problem? Is it a priority for you to fix it right now?”
The Boosted Post Strategy (When You Don’t Have an Audience Yet)
What if you don’t have a following yet? This strategy works really well in health and wellness. But first, a hard rule: you need a niche. If you don’t have a niche, do not do this. Niche down first.
You need to determine the human identity you’re targeting and their specific problem. For example, new moms in their thirties dealing with postpartum depression. Then:
- Make a post (I find carousels work really well) where either the first three seconds of you talking or the first slide explicitly calls out the human and the problem, so it’s crystal clear who it’s for.
- Boost the post on Instagram, but don’t do it through the app. Apple charges you around 30% extra. Instead, open your browser (Chrome, Safari, Firefox), go to Instagram.com, and boost it from there to avoid the Apple fee.
- Optimize for profile visits and target people like your followers. This will actually bring you followers.
- Then use my new-follower script above to start the conversation.
Understand that only 20 to 30% of people will respond, and that’s completely normal. Start the conversation, ask questions, be helpful, see if there’s a resource you can offer, and learn about your people along the way.
Follow-Up Is Where the Sales Live
The way I run all of this is on desktop, in Meta Business Suite, not on my phone. You can create little boards to organize people, like a “quick follow-up” board and a “future follow-up” board. When someone’s a hot lead, I mark them, drop them into quick follow-up, and add a note like “expressed interest.”
Because here’s the truth: sales are in the follow-up. I’ll follow up with someone three to five times before I decide they’re just not interested. And this whole system only takes me about 20 minutes a day. You don’t need to pour hours into it. You just need to consistently bring people into your world, through organic content or a boosted post, and start as many conversations as possible.
Oh, and one more thing worth remembering: sometimes people become clients after ghosting me multiple times. I’ll see someone reply to my story, look back at our history, and realize we’ve had several conversations where they never answered. It genuinely means nothing. People get distracted, they need space, they forget. Then one day the timing is right.
Stop Waiting. Start the Conversation.
I know it feels scary. But this is what sales actually is. It’s relationships. It’s conversations. It’s not slimy and it’s not salesy, as long as you approach it from the right place: you’re here to serve people, to be helpful, to provide value, and to learn. That’s it.
You never know where a single DM conversation can go. I can’t tell you how many of them turn into sales, either today or months down the road. So stop posting into the void and hoping. Pick up the conversation instead.
